'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
