it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
