The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This toilet bowl is my home.
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