o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
