It's Friday. Sex?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
