In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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