Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
