Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
