i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
