Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
