I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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