I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
