He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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