We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
