He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
