I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
