just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
