when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
