"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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