I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
