TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
