Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
