ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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