I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
