Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
