People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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