question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
