You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You can't just leave with hair like that
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
