Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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