you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
