Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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