what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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