Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize