so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Green mimosas i think yes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
