I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
