This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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