I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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