Dual....:-)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
