Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
