She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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