New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
