I cockslap morals
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
