You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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