What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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