I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think people are normalizing furries
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
