ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
