At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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