I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
