I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
false alarm. still invincible.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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