She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
